Hanging In There

Derwin is in the midst of his Radiation and Chemotherapy. I wanted to know what drugs they were injecting in him. He gets the shots in the rump and even though he gets some sort of numbing agent, he says his whole butt feels like its on fire. Docetaxel is what they are using, so of course I read up on it. It does all the things to a body that we hear about from Chemotherapy. (I tried to convince the girls we should all go bald in support of Derwin, but they somehow didn't go for that - sorry Der, you're on your own there). I was trying to find a virtual bald site that would show us as bald women but so far you have to pay...............not going to do that. If I find anything,I'll post us as baldy beauties!

He still goes every week day to the Huntsman Center in Salt Lake City. Everything that is being done to him is taking it's toll. He has chemo 3 X @ wk, and radiation 5 X @ wk. They have increase the radiation and changed the process these last few weeks. So far I have only taken one day off to take him down and that was for his first chemo treatment. We have been blessed with family and good friends to help out, they have been quite generous with their time. It takes the better part of each day to do this. Some positive news is that they are going to try and have him done by Thanksgiving.

Thursday morning I had a "start" to the day. My alarm went off and usually I reach over to turn it off and snuggle back in for just another moment, but Derwin is always getting going because it takes him a bit longer to deal with his connections and bathe before he can get dressed. But this day he didn't start getting up...................I waited, and waited a moment longer and then I pulled my covers off, sat up and turned my light on. Still no movement. I looked at him and he was sooooooooo still, I couldn't see the blankets moving with his breath or any movement in his face and his skin looked really chalky to me.

I thought he was dead. And I thought, "Oh, Crap!" My first thought was, who do I call first. I leaned on the bed and reached to touch him when he looked and me and said - 'morning, is it cold out there?'.

It wasn't a good feeling at all. I didn't tell him until dinner time what had happened. He was just recovering from a hot flash and then had gotten cold so wanted to stay a while longer in bed to warm up. He really apologized.

I can only say, that I hope I don't have to go through that again.